So here we are again. John Lewis has plucked out our heartstrings. A slew of mediocre chain-café Christmas Sandwiches have somehow invaded the national psyche, and Facebook is full to bursting with people banging on about the new Star Wars movie. Yes, it's late November. And never one to skimp on stocking fillers, we've been scouring social media to uncover and share our list of Twenty Top-Trending Christmas Gift Ideas for Trendy Marketing Types. So pull up a mouse, pull out your credit card and let your fingers feel the gift of giving…
1. Inkwell helmets (from £56)
Give someone a personalised Inkwell Helmet this year and watch as they transform from a derided rider to cycle route royalty in the blink of an eye. With unlimited possibilities, you can pick the perfect image to adorn your loved one's noggin as they glide through the city.
2. Astronaut ice cream (£4)
Turkey. Cranberry sauce. Pigs in blankets. Ice cream? This year, treat someone with an astronomic delight that's out of this world. The Science Museum is serving up dollops of astronautically tasty Neapolitan frozen deserts straight from the International Space Centre itself – just give up all hope of escaping the cold this winter now.
3. Wooden keyboard (£125)
Metal this, metal that. Can someone tell us what's wrong with a good old-fashioned slab of wood? Apart from the prospect of owning a keyboard that could one day have woodworm? If you know anyone who'd like to go a little more ‘au naturel' this Christmas, this distinguished wooden wireless keyboard from Orée is the perfect way to treat them to some gorgeous design.
4. Writer emergency pack (£12.60)
It's every writer's nightmare. The blank page, writer's block, what word comes next – where do you go? What do you write? Well fear no more. Introducing the Writer's Emergency Pack, a scribe's guide to writing in 26 bite-size tips. And it looks so good even a stiff-lipped designer can appreciate it.
5. Punkt mobile phone (£229)
Don't be smart this year, be simple. In a swipe at the ever-connected world Silicon Valley has left in its wake, Punkt's stylishly named MP01 is a back-to-basics mobile phone that calls to mind the legendary 3210's of old. With revolutionary features including ‘text messaging' and ‘phone calls,' you can guarantee your alert recipient won't be distracted during the Queen's speech this year. Gawd bless 'er.
6. 1000 colours jigsaw (£20)
Forget Rubik's cubes, the only puzzle to get stuck into this holiday season is Clemens Habicht's 1000 Colours jigsaw. An image representing pretty much every colour hue known to man, this brain-mushing timewaster will have everyone glued to the floor from the moment of unwrapping. One hitch: you might not finish ‘til next Christmas.
7. Lego architecture (from £20)
Lego has had a bit of a revamp in the past few years, which has only been a good thing for designers around the world. With the youthful brick-laying pastime now relevant among the adult demographic, this is the time to strike and relive your architectural dreams of yesteryear. Just make sure you let the kids join in.
8. 3Doodler (£65)
If you're not the owner of a plus-size smart phone, a self-cleaning toilet or a platinum bank card, you're no one these days. Unless… you up your game in the doodling department. Introducing the 3Doodler, a 3D-printing pen with the ability to take your drawing to the next dimension – probably not advisable in client meetings.
9. Wonder cube (£125)
A charger, a stand, a USB port, a keyring, a torch... This year, sync everyone in your life with the Swiss army knife of smartphone essentials and make sure they'll always be connected. Wonder by name, wonder by nature. The only thing that we're wondering is why no one has thought of it before Indiegogo?
10. Chalkboard wrapping paper (£5)
There's a growing band of folk out there for whom fawning over the contents of gift-wrapped gifts is simply not enough. For them, the wrapping paper is a gift too! Hence wrapping-paper makers have risen to new heights over the past few years. Wow the paper-lover in your life with the Not On The High Street's chalkboard wrap – it's the perfect choice for wiping away the memory of yet another pair of socks.
11. Not another bill subscription (FROM £24)
Still struggling to find the perfect gift for your nearest and dearest? Well, thanks for the vote of no confidence. We'll just pick up the pieces and carry on with another eleven knock out ideas shall we?… Ok, how about this then… Set up to make your intended's letter box a more magical place, Not Another Bill is a curated gift experience designed to ensure the recipient has something lovely landing on their welcome matt every now and again (eg, monthly) throughout the year. It's not all bills and DM.
12. Bright idea laptop light (£10)
You know the feeling – you have a bright idea. You wait for some copious backslapping,… Then dream of a few hearty ‘woops'… But all that's forthcoming is some grunted faint praise from your secretly envious boss. Inside though, you're still dancing and you want to show it. And now you can thanks to the Bright Idea laptop light. As the name suggests, buy one of these babies and you'll have a light-bulb literally sticking out of your laptop USB port on an adjustable mini stand. Eureka!
13. Senz smart umbrella (£25)
Style always trumps substance. But what if you can have both? The Senz Smart Umbrella is the most streamline piece of kit since unsliced bread. Suave, stylish and with enough room for two, this life-proof brolly will have you feeling sunnier than a July weekend on Brighton beach.
We all have one. Whether it's a pesky client, an irritating junior or a righteous CEO, everybody, yes everybody, has someone they'd like to pop between the eyes. But rather than just relentlessly plotting away in your downtime, try letting off some steam and write your vengeful plots down in this sleek notebook. We guess it's a therapy, of sorts.
15. The brief safe (£8)
Your next assignment is in: you're off to a Big Meeting in deepest, darkest Garden City. You arrive at your supposedly chic hotel only to find a run-down room so flimsy it fills you with dread. Will your valuables really be safe here? Well, yes, if you take The Brief Safe with you. Designed to look like a dirty pair of pants but actually an ideal host for your valuables thanks to a hidden rear compartment, the Brief Safe comes with fake (we think) skid-marks included.
16. Moonlight (£20)
It's one-minute to eleven PM, and you're still marching along to the beat of the latest deadline, only for all the lights to suddenly go out. Dang. You can't find the way to the hallway with the light switches, let alone the switches themselves. But thankfully now you have back up. Above you shines Dr. Cools Moon Light, the perfect ambience-setter for any late night shifts. Now get back to work, slacker.
17. Equation watch (£15)
Time has always been an equation on the mind of human kind, and now it can be an equation on your loved one's wrist. Replacing numbers with 12 marvellous maths calculations, the wearer's clock face is transformed into a miniature Hawking-esque blackboard. It's safe to say time just got a little bit more interesting.
18. Beeline (£40)
Admittedly, the cycle route to work can get a little bland. So why not gift the pedalling enthusiast in your life with a different route or two this Christmas? Introducing BeeLine, the smart compass that points you in the right direction but never tells you which path to take. Perfect for the adventuring bikers. Terrible for SatNav systems the world over.
19. Harrods truffle advent calendar (£250)
Why limit yourself to one Christmas this year when you can have 25? Harrods are starting the unwrapping early during the festive period with a Truffle Advent Calender. Perfect if you're feeling a little extravagant or if you're simply trying to wean the kids off less sophisticated chocolate brands.
20. Wine bottle glass (£12.99)
Introduce the rosé-quaffing socialite in your life to the Wine Bottle Glass. Designed by Getting Personal, it's the perfect way to make sure they're ever present around the dinner table this Christmas. With enough room for a standard bottle of vino, they can forget about running to the kitchen and focus on the one thing that really matters… getting royally merry.
Festively compiled by The Clearing's very own Saint Nick, Junior Writer Will Nicklin